How to be a a Deadbeat in 6 easy steps

Step 1: Only see your child once ever 2-5 weeks, depending on when your parent's work and can pick him up. Refuse to relocate from you shell of a trailer home that is not even safe enough for him your to see you in, to the city your child actually lives in.

2. Only call your child once a month or so, disregarding the part of the court order YOU insisted on.

3. Don't EVER pay child support, or offer to buy anything your child actually NEEDS other than thing that buy his love, like toys and chocolate milk when you do actually see your child.To achieve this very important step you must provide the court in your state with proof of SSI, which will exempt you from child support payments due to you not being able to afford it. Most importantly, spend all your money on yourself on thing YOU need like 3 or 4 drum sets, multiple cell phone, video games, body piercings, internet and cell phone bills and brand new PS4's .

4. Don't ever  actually parent your child when you see him. Do not bathe, watch, discipline or cook him an actual meal consisting of anything more than gummy snacks and chocolate milk or apple juice. Oh, no this YOUR play date. Your job is to convince your child you are the best, most fun parent ever. But more importantly, you must convince the entire word of this, via Facebook and Instagram of course. To complete this important step, simply snap no less than 85 picture per visit day, upload them to Facebook with captions about how much you love your child, and  then leave your child in the care of your parents and go back to your trailer home to wait for the positive feed back about what a wonderful parent you are from females.

5. Have so much free time on your hands from not working to support your child, or ever seeing or taking care of your child that you sit in the bathroom mirror of you trailer shell taking duck lip selfies, no less than 10 per day. When your not doing that you can make videos about your *Never Going To Happen* Drumming career or killing people with swords. Or about how bitches are all crazy. Tip : Always finding a way to victimize yourself in any and all situation, and the occasional update of how much you miss your child because their other parent is refusing visitation is also a good pass time.

6 : Follow the above steps while convincing yourself you are not a dead beat, but in fact actually the worlds best parent . Remember to continuously keep up on your Facebook parent image to feed this delusion.

Tip : ALWAYS put your own needs and want ahead of your child's but have a never ending list of reason to justifie this.

Good luck and hope this gets you all the Facebook feedback you could ever hope for :)