Mishap : Calliou

 Calliou bashing may not be too original but I'm going to get it out there anyway. Calliou is an original Douch. I swear who ever created just took every single bad trait a child can possess and called it "Calliou Halitosis". This may sound a bit harsh, I know but if you know who this little bald headed  demon is you will understand. If you don't know who he is consider yourself one of the lucky ones. You see, Calliou is not your typical annoying, get under your skin preschool show. The ones that bug the hell out of you, but you can deal with it because it keeps your kid in one place for 30 minutes or so. If you don't know who this Calliou kid is then let me take a moment to tell you. He is the worlds biggest whine ass of a four year old. He is great, until any smallest thing does not go his way. Then his true colors come out. He lets you know, in his high pitched whiny ass voice that in his bald noggin he is the ruler of his primary colored world. If Rosie want to wants to use a yellow crayon, but Calliou wants her use a red one ( of course all primary colors ) he whines about it . Then Mommy comes over and gently explains to Calliou why Rosie may want to use yellow instead of  instead of red. Look Calliou ! Rosie want to draw Gilburt in the sun ! La Dee  DA! But Calliou, the stubborn little jerk that he is, crosses is arms, and says NO, he does not want want ROSIE to use RED. Then Mommy comes up with a compromise so that they both win. AKA Calliou get's his damn way! Maybe Rosie can draw the sun with the yellow crayon and them draw strawberry's with the red one. Then Calliou uncrosses his arms and flicks away his one blue tear and say ... Okay Mommy with a half smile. Then fifteen seconds later they are all laughing in high pitched squeals . I mean how does Mommy get anything done ? How does toddler aged Rosie resist the urge to claw Calliou's eyes out when he's alway raining on her damn parade? 

He goes from Zero to sixty in 3.5. One minute hes there, all calm cool and collected, rolling primary colored clay balls at "play school" (WTF ever play school is ) or munching on carrot sticks with Clemintine and Cleo then the next minutes he's crossing his arm with a snarl on his face. But there's always an overly patient grown up to tame him before he totally lose his shit.

Mommy and Daddy are another mystery . They only go by Mommy and Daddy, and they look like they could be brother and sister . When Calliou starts his shit , they look at each other with a half smile ... like it YOUR turn to deal with this little shit ! They always seem to give Calloiu his way, but in a sly, your not supposed to notice kind of a way. Like , its okay to give the little jerk his way as long as it comes in the form of a " teachable moment" .
The thing I honestly don't get the most about this show is that it is supposed to "educational" preschool show.  What  EXACTLY are they teaching kids ?! About the 4 primary colors ? About how to be friend... as long as that said friend plays EXACTLY how you want them to play? That Mommy and Daddy will NEVER, EVER show even slightest bit of frustration when you do EVERYTHING you can to test the limits of everyone around you ? That you can get whatever you want by standing there with a snarl on you face and your arms crossed ? Ahhhh what is this ?!

The worst part of this show is like Preschool kid crack. Once I make the mistake of putting this crap on for my son after vowing NEVER AGIAN it is all he wants to watch. Calliou is all he wants to BE. He idolizes him, he wants to be him. He BECOMES him , and I have to threaten to cut him off if he sticks tomatoes down his shirt...uhhg. I swear , NO more but every morning he get in my face , hand me my phone and wants to me stream calliou onto our T.V . WHY? why HIM? Cant you anything BUT HIM? But... why fight a losing battle ... PBS knew exactly what they were doing they dreamed this spawn up. I can only wait it out until he gets to an age where he out grows this whiny bald headed punk they call Calliou. In the mean time I'll just continue to stream him at a hardly audible volume level and tell my son : If you want to hear what Calliou is saying you have to be REALLY quite and listen carefully so you can hear him ! ( oh God I'm sounding like Calliou's mommy now . HELP )